The walls we build

I was talking with a friend recently about how he has built walls of protection around himself.  These walls are so tall and so thick that nobody ever gets to see the “true person.”  He has literally built a fortress with many defensive measures.  It is the defensive measures that often destroy the relationships that he is trying to establish with women and male friends.

Unfortunately, most of us have these walls and are unaware of how they prevent us from living a full life.  We spend our entire lives reinforcing them and doing everything we can to keep others from getting in.  We don’t want to get hurt, so we surround ourselves with protection.

Many of us started building walls at a very early age.  The foundation of these walls starts with a question.  Every young boy has a core question; “do I have what it takes?” and every little girl asks “am I beautiful or am I worth pursuing?” These questions are written on our hearts and we first take them to our earthly father.  If the father is absent or doesn’t answer these questions with love, a wound starts to form.  This lays the foundation for the wall.  The question is then taken other places; for young boys, it’s taken to sports, video games and girls; for young girls, it’s taken to boys and pursuits of vanity.  As these other things continue to fall short of answering the question, as they always will, the walls get reinforced until they are completely impenetrable.

It’s not until we realize that our core question must be taken to our heavenly Father do we start to get healing.  Father will answer these questions with a loving “yes,” and the process of deconstruction begins.  We come to the realization that we were never meant to have walls, but to allow Him to protect us.  Ultimately we didn’t trust Him, so we built our own protection.  I have spent the last 10+ years allowing Father to tear down my walls and offer His protection in the breach.  I am learning to trust in His strength and not my own.

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